AND ANOTHER THING…

September 2008

Youth is wasted on the young

YOUTH is wasted on the young, or so they say. At least that well-known philosopher Robbie Williams said it! Actually, there is a paradox about growing older. You become wiser as you age but less able to utilise such wisdom as first the mind, then the body becomes a barrier.

After a certain age, when we own two-thirds of our houses, appreciate fine wine, have paid for the car and have a suit for every occasion but never wear them, we yearn to play safe. So those most able to make sound, risk-based decisions find themselves opting out. It strikes me that there must be a flashpoint in every life when the individual knows just enough and is rash enough to play the hand of cards he is dealt to their best effect. Such a point in time is akin to the launch period for a rocket bound for outer space. It is that allotted time for lighting the burners and starting the countdown. Recognising such a moment is difficult and largely only after its passing can one look back and say – that was it – that was my moment in time. This is a sad reflection on the irony of life and perhaps not wholly appropriate to a light-hearted piece of froth such as this. But I will make one observation before the nurse comes to tuck me up: If youth is wasted on the young, then wisdom is wasted on the old!

It is Saturday morning and I am about to be very wise indeed. It is my opinion today is a very difficult day as far as betting is concerned. There appear to be some good things on the cards, all spotted by the odds-compilers so their odds are cramped. These include: Major Cadeaux, Look Busy, Frozen Fire [although drifting as I write], Septimus and Contretemps, or so I am told. You may have other ideas. Some of you may be including Zacinto in this list although I am tempted to lay it, but have decided that if backing a 4/5 winner on the day is the best I can come up with, it is not worth the bother. But you see, if of the same opinion, Harry the Flash, having just cleared his head of all the wine and Bacardi Breezers of last night, would press the lay button on Betfair and get stuck in. Another day – another dollar!

An outfit of young whizz kids runs Betfair. It was a wonderful concept, rather like the idea of opening a bank and charging people for the privilege of depositing their money therein. But it seems the Hoorays that run Betfair are becoming a little too big for their brogues. In a mean-spirited and rather autocratic gesture, they are penalising those exploiting Betfair as a means to making money by increasing their commission – and I kind of thought making money was the idea.

The potential problem with Betfair was always that for it to work, for each person wishing to back a horse, there had to be someone willing to lay it. So there would be no shortage of layers for something like Zacinto today, but what about the likes of my two outsiders in the sprint races: Evens And Odds at 25/1 and Strike The Deal at 66/1? They will probably sink without a trace but that is not the point. Who needs £1 so badly they will risk losing £25 in the first case, or £66 in the second.  No one! So the mere fact such prices are available at all is because they are part of a package, a computer generated programme that has worked out how to lay every horse in the race and to produce a small but guaranteed profit for the operator. Either that or a bookmaker somewhere, using a similar system, is balancing his books. For there to be takers at such prices, those takers have to be using Betfair as a tool. So we arrive at another paradox. Betfair want to use the latter part of their name at all costs; but without the whizz kids exploiting the service they provide, layers on anything over the price of 3/1 will dry up.

Right now, what with this credit crunch we hear so much about, it seems everyone is after your money. Actually I suspect they have been for quite a while. But have you ever noticed how long it takes to get confirmation of an order, or for a query to be processed, in comparison to the speed with which the phone rings or a representative calls when you make an enquiry.

But some firms or organisations are worse than others when we come to the what’s fair and what’s not stakes. We live in a capitalist society so it is reasonable for companies to make money. It is their methods that can rankle.

It is no good complaining ad hoc about every profit-making concern but as consumers, I do feel we have the right to be aware of those bodies most likely to rip us to financial shreds.

I have a list of four. Top of any list should be the Government – any government. The only organisation that is not held accountable and can squeeze the consumer (that’s us the taxpayer) when they get their sums wrong without any or little recourse.

Second are banks. They operate a cartel and use our money to line the pockets of shareholders and have the cheek to charge us for the privilege of not having to keep wads under the bed.

Thirdly, I would add fast-food chains that sell crap food, pretend there is something trendy or healthy about what they provide and charge top prices to induce their consumers into becoming fat.

The last are insurance companies who must be awash with money right now, as it does not seem possible to turn on the television without seeing an advertisement for some firm or another offering to cover you up to your armpits. No one wants to pay insurance but if you drive a car it is, quite rightly, the law. What we want is to pay the minimum to cover us against the worst possible scenario. It is plain by the way their adverts are phrased that what they want is to make us believe we need cover for every eventuality. From the moment we wake in the morning, in case the sound of the alarm clock pierces our eardrums, until we get back into bed at night, should it collapse under our Big Mac weight and require us to be in traction for six weeks.

Those I would leave off the list include estate agents (try selling or buying a house without one), footballers and rock stars ( they can do what we can’t and people pay to see them do it) and, yes, bookmakers. Whatever we say about the old enemy, at least we have a choice. If we don’t like the price about Major Cadeaux we can let it run. If we don’t feel like guessing where you need to be drawn in the thirty-runner sprint we don’t have to bet. If they offer 6/1 about a horse and it wins, they pay. They don’t suddenly find an insurance-type clause that means they only have to pay you out at 5/2 because it won by ten lengths.

Not that I am expecting any altercations with anyone today. I have backed two big-priced no-hopers that are unlikely to trouble the judge or the adjudicator. But I shall sleep soundly, reinforced by half a bottle of French red and the knowledge I have kept out of trouble for at least one more day.